


The Undateable Jason Todd

by GavotteAndGigue



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: Kissing, M/M, Mild Angst, Mild Language, Sexual Situations, Stalking, bat family style stalking, but no sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-08 08:03:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15926273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GavotteAndGigue/pseuds/GavotteAndGigue
Summary: “So are you and Jason… together?”  Dick had asked.“Me? And Jason?”  Artemis laughed lightly.  “Anyone and Jason?  Goddess, that is too funny.”Dick had laughed it off then too, but after he had parted ways with the Outlaws, he couldn't get Artemis’ words out his mind.It just didn't seem fair.  Surely Jason Todd couldn't be completely undateable, could he?  Dick wasn't sure why, but he wanted to find out.--OR that fic in which Dick tries his hand at playing matchmaker who turns creepy stalker,  misunderstandings happen because poor communication is a thing, and both Dick and Jason are more clueless than they should be.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super thanks to [@stevieraebarnes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevieraebarnes/pseuds/stevieraebarnes) for pre-read, feedback and discourse!
> 
> Warnings: Maybe a little accidental voyeurism. A lot of bat-family stalking behavior, a scene or two of canon-typical violence, one short scene of torture but not overly graphic I don’t think. Some sexual situations, an unsolicited kiss, but no actual sex. One-sided attraction Dick/Artemis, before he comes to his senses.
> 
>   * This is set around the RHATO Annual #1, guestarring Nightwing. Read it if you haven't! Otherwise not totally sure the introduction will make a whole lot of sense. Plus I thought it was a well written and fun issue. It diverges continuity-wise from there though. 
>   * I've also taken liberties with previous histories and relationships… you'll see. 
>   * A little bit of continuity mashup going on… thorough knowledge of other books not required, and in fact may be disadvised. Mentions of events that happened in Rebirth Titans and other books, but it's not all gonna line up the way it did in the comics.
> 


The text message had come through one evening as Dick was getting ready to go out on patrol.  It had been a surprise because Jason didn’t usually text him. With “usually” meaning “ _never_.”  More often, it was the other way around.  Dick or Bruce would issue a call to arms for whatever state of emergency that affected Gotham.  Sometimes Jason would show up, sometimes he wouldn’t. Granted, sometimes he was _busy_ , just like all of the bats were.  Crime didn't call a timeout just so that they could have a family meeting, but for the most part, Dick knew that he could count on Jason if he was truly needed.  Jason was closer to the family now than he had been in a long while, and he knew that if it was serious enough, Jason would show. If it turned out that Jason needed him in return, well… a message from a fellow former Robin, comrade, and brother was not to be ignored.  

He knew it wasn't an emergency -- there were protocols for that and this wasn't one of them -- but a cryptic set of coordinates piqued his interest enough that Dick decided to forego patrolling Bludhaven for the night to return to Gotham.  Besides, Dick hadn't had a chance to keep up with Jason lately -- he had had enough of his own mess of a life to deal with. From his move to Bludhaven, the reforming of the Titans, dealing with the implications of Raptor’s return, to his whirlwind romance with Defacer that had crashed and burned… between all _that_ , there hadn't been much mental or emotional space to keep up with the most hostile and unpredictable of his fellow bat siblings.  Even on the best of days, dealing with Jason took a level of patience and emotional control that bordered on saintly, but now that Jason had sent him some sort of cryptic invitation, it wasn’t one that he was going to turn down.

So off he went, mapping the coordinates to an empty lot at the edge of Gotham.  Except the lot wasn’t empty. A traveling circus had come into town (one that Dick wasn’t familiar with), and set up shop with what looked like a hastily printed billboard advertising a new local act.  The three pixelated figures on the printed image vaguely matched Jason and what Dick had gleaned of the appearance of his new friends.

Huh.  Seemed like Dick was in the right place after all.  This was the place Jason had called him to. Unsure of what else to do, Dick bought a ticket and sat down for the show.

Dick had to admit, watching Jason in the ring had been surprisingly fun.

“The masked marksman!” The ringmaster had announced.  “His aim is true!”

It was certainly no lie.  Dick watched as Jason revved the engine on his motorcycle to power wheel up the ramp, jumping through a flaming hoop all while bursting a series of glass bottles tossed in the air with a pop gun.  It was something all the bat’s could do at varying levels of accuracy, but still, it was an impressive display. Showy. Flashy. Dick knew Jason was dramatic, but the showmanship was a little unexpected.

What had been even more unexpected, but not in the least unpleasant, was the redheaded bombshell that was Jason’s new teammate.  She was _something_.  And if the Amazon was interested, well Dick certainly wouldn’t have said no.

“So are you and Jason… _together_?”  Dick had asked.

“ _Me?_ And Jason?”  Artemis laughed lightly.  “ _Anyone_ and Jason?  Goddess, that is _too_ funny.”

Dick had laughed it off then too.  Of course not… right? Artemis was way out of Jason’s league.  Maybe anyone's league. She was an odd clash of abrasiveness and class.  She was both assertive and poised. Frighteningly fierce while breathtakingly gorgeous.  She’d chew you up and hock what was left of you into a spittoon like an Old Western brawler, all the while somehow making it look elegant and dignified.

But on the other hand, Jason was… well, it wasn't like he was unattractive.  Quite the opposite actually. He was tall, broad shouldered and well muscled, but still lean and not overly bulky.  His features were well formed and symmetrical, and though everything about him was savagely intense -- including the lushness of his brows, the angle of his cheekbones, and the piercing glare of his eyes -- it all came together into an undeniably handsome package… and with all that sass….

 _Who are you kidding?  Jason is hot!_  Some annoying ‘inside’ voice was blaring in his head.  Dick groaned inwardly. Where the hell had that thought come from?  But now that he had _thunk_ it, it couldn't be _unthunk._

But back to Jason with Artemis, if the two of them got together, it would be _scorchingly_ hot.  A series of racy images flashed through Dick's head.

Whoa.

It was time to put those thoughts well and far away.  Thankfully, by the time he wrapped up with Artemis that night, it was clear she wasn't so much as interested in Dick as she had first appeared to be. He was thankful in a way, because some kind of weird love triangle between his brother and his brother's teammate was the last thing he needed.  Artemis had been curious, but not overt, and if their first encounter in the trailer was anything to go by, if she were interested, she would have made herself clear as soon as they sat down together.

The fight with KG Beast ended up going predictably, and as Dick was parting ways with the Outlaws, he had already come to the conclusion that Artemis hadn't really been interested in him much beyond his association with Jason.  At the same time, he was now finding it hard to imagine _Jason_ involved with Artemis _like that_.  Dick wasn't even sure if she was interested in men in general, but if she was, he just didn't see how it would work between them.  If Jason was sharp and cutting like a knife-edge, then Artemis was all blunt force. There was no _give_ between them, and though it made good chemistry for a working partnership, Dick could see a romantic entanglement ending with them strangling each other.

Artemis would win.

Still, her words echoed in Dick's head.   _“Anyone and Jason? Goddess, that is too funny.”_

Somehow that didn't seem fair to Jason, but Dick didn't want to think about it anymore.  He put it out of his head as he shot out a grapple line and swung away.

_/////////////////////////////////////////_

_Anyone and Jason? Goddess, that is too funny._

It was several days later, and Artemis’ words were echoing through his mind.  He was back in Bludhaven, swinging off the ledge of a casino when the words just popped into his head again.

_Anyone and Jason?_

He landed on an adjacent rooftop, and then vaulted down to kick in the teeth of the latest lackeys from the League of Limousine Assassins.  They put up a decent effort at fighting back, but they were no match for Nightwing. It was easy. Even a bit boring, and as he knocked the last goon unconscious and zip tied him to the nearest streetlamp, Artemis’ words kept reverberating in his brain:

_Anyone and Jason?_

Anyone?  Did that mean _no one_?  Surely Jason Todd couldn't be completely undateable, could he?  Dick wasn't sure why, but it kept striking a nerve with him. He’d been accused of being hopelessly romantic before, so maybe that was it.  Maybe he just didn't want to believe that there wasn't someone out there for everyone, including Jason.

 _Anyone_ and Jason though…?  

It just had to be the _right kind_ of someone, right? Who or what that kind of someone might be was anyone's guess.  Plus, Jason was _difficult_ to say the least. He never reacted the way Dick wanted or expected him too.  Attempts at reconciling had always been rebuffed. Kindness was greeted with suspicion.  Even if Dick just smiled at him, Jason frowned. It took Dick literally not having time for him for Jason to actually reach out.  It was almost like every day was opposite day when it came to Jason Todd.

_Anyone and Jason? Goddess, that is too funny._

Those stupid words again!  He had to stop thinking about it… but the implication that there wasn't anyone out there for Jason... that he couldn't handle another person in a relationship, or that no one could ever handle him in return…. That maybe he was too broken for anyone to want to date. That he was somehow unlovable….  

The thought made Dick sad for some reason.  He couldn't get it out of his head. Wasn't there someone out there that Jason was compatible with?

Dick gave up on trying to put the thoughts out of his head and let himself ponder for a moment.  The truth was, he didn't know much about Jason's experiences when it came to dating. Jason was only a teenager when he died, and depending on how you looked at it (did that year when he was actually dead in the ground count toward his age?), Jason was still barely _out_ of his teens.  He probably hadn't had the chance to meet a special someone.  Or had he? Jason had gone through quite a lot since he came back from the dead, and Dick hadn't been around for most of it.  Now he was curious though. Did Jason ever have a first kiss? A first crush? Did he even really like Artemis in that way? Did he even want to date at all?  Did Jason even know himself?

Dick was curious. He wanted to know for reasons he didn't want to think too hard about.  It bothered him so much that he made the mistake of asking Roy about it a few days later when he returned to Titans Tower.  He managed to find Roy alone in one of the workrooms, tinkering with some kind of new arrow, lost in thought.

“Hey,” Dick knocked on the doorframe, leaned against it with his arms crossed and tried to look casual.

“Hey.”  Roy spared a glance behind him from his workbench, before turning back to his project as he replied.  “What's up? Somebody need saving? Aliens attacking? I’m guessing not ‘cause you would have sounded an alarm.”

“Nah,” Dick shrugged.  “Just saying hi.” Damnit.  That did not sound casual. It sounded like he wanted something.

“Uh. Hi?”  Roy quirked a brow at him.

“So. Er… when you were hanging with Jason, did he ever date anyone?”  Dick just blurted it out, and damn did that totally _not_ sound cool and offhanded.  Judging by the way Roy stiffened, suddenly dropping the blowtorch he had been holding, and then his fumbling attempts to catch it without burning his hand off… it seemed that was exactly the wrong way to broach the subject.

“W-what?  Why are you asking?”  Roy was wearing his goggles, but it didn't mask the surprise and -- was that defensiveness? -- that flashed across his face.

“I uh…,” Dick tried to recover, “I was just curious, because, you know…. Because there's this girl. Woman.  And she's an Ama--. I mean she's _amazing._  And I was just thinking maybe I could help him out… and you know.  I want to. Because. Brothers.”

Yeah.  That explained it perfectly.  Good job, Dick.

“Oh.” Despite the garbled explanation, Roy seemed to relax at that.  Weird. “Well,” he looked up at the ceiling as he recalled, “there was the flight attendant.  Isabel. She was nice, but she couldn't handle all the… well, _the life,_ if you know what I mean _._  And then there was his ex, the creepy smoke chick.  That was some messed up shit, right there.”

“Wait,” Dick asked, confused, “she was creepy because she smoked?”

“No,” Roy waved his hands in circles, “she _was_ the smoke.  And she was old as shit, but still totally hot.  But like I said, creepy as fuck.”

That was the first Dick had heard of that.  It must have been after Jason died, but before he came back to the family, which still wasn't a large amount of time…. That meant he was sixteen or seventeen back then?  That was unsettling.

“Just how old was she?”

Roy made a face Dick couldn't quite decipher, perhaps half way between disgust and dismay, but he was clearly uncomfortable.  “Look, can we not talk about this? Jay and I didn't exactly part on the best of terms, and we’re not exactly talking right now.  And this conversation is just really, really weird….”

“Oh.  Yeah. Of course!  Sorry!” Dick retreated, feeling like he had just stepped on some sort of cringeworthy landmine.  What was _that_ about?

It became clear a couple weeks later, when Dick found a reason to visit the Teen Titans in San Francisco.  Damian had requested data from the Batcave that related to some old Titans foes, and Dick thought that was a perfectly good excuse to drop in on him.  He was not there to talk to Kory about Jason. Not at all. It was just a bonus. Or so he told himself.

Dick was only visiting for a day, and he spent the better part of it getting to know Damian’s crew a little more.  He had met the new Wally and Aqualad a while back, but he hadn’t really had a chance to talk to them. He spent some time catching Raven and Beast Boy up on Tim as well, before Damian rounded everyone up for a training scenario.  It was interesting watching Damian assert himself. He wouldn't have said it out loud, but it was going far better than Dick would have expected, and Kory bore his leadership with a surprising amount of patience. She was good with kids, and Dick lamented briefly that if they had stayed together, perhaps someday she would have made a good mother… but that was neither here nor there.  They were just friends now, and he didn't have any desire to rekindle their relationship. He had just wanted to talk to her about Jason.

“Kory, hey, can I ask you something?”  Dick managed to pull her away from the others right as he was readying to head back to Bludhaven.  They were standing alone by the dock to his batplane, and Dick allowed himself to feel at ease in her presence.  Things weren't good between them for a while, but he always trusted her to be honest. She was one of the most truthful people he knew.

“Of course, Dick,” Kory smiled warmly in response.  “Do you need something?”

“Oh, no.  It's not about me.  It's about Jason.”

“Oh?”  Kory looked immediately concerned.  “Is he alright?”

“Yeah, he's fine,” Dick quickly clarified.  “I just… I'm trying to….” He hadn't quite thought this through.  He was trying to what? Snoop into Jason's love life in order to prove to himself that Jason was able to have a stable relationship?  To what end? Help his brother find a date? It all sounded so absurd in his head, let alone what it would sound like out loud, so instead he said, “What's up with Roy and Jason?”

Kory tilted her head inquisitively, but answered, “I do not really know, Dick.  I have not spoken much to either of them after they broke up.”

“What?” _Broke up?_  Did he hear that right?  

“Perhaps I have used the wrong word,” Kory puzzled thoughtfully.  Her grasp of English was generally excellent, but she still got confused occasionally with context, given that she was alien.

“With them,” Kory continued, “it was like with you and Wally.  And by that I mean the red Wally. And then it ended with Roy and Jason, like it did with you and Wally.  Is that not what is also called broken up?”

“Uh… yeah.”  Dick and Wally had messed around when they were younger.  They hadn't ever come out as _boyfriends,_ even to their closest friends, so Dick was surprised that Kory even knew about that.  He hadn't ever talked about it, and he and Wally remained close… at least until Dick _forgot_ him, but that was a story for another day.  However, Kory was more perceptive than most people gave her credit for, and if she had it right about him and Wally, then she probably knew what she was talking about with Roy and Jason.  Dick hadn't had a clue. Didn't even suspect. Jason was gay? Or bi? Or curious?

“Oh.  You did not know.”  Kory was looking at him in surprise.  She must have read his internal monologue clearly on his face.

“No.  Jason isn't exactly forthcoming about his relationships.  Or anything at all really,” Dick sighed. “I was just, I dunno, trying to get to know more about him, and I realized I hardly know anything.  Did he… did he ever see anyone else?”

“There was a woman, Isabel.  She was kind, and brave, but I suppose she did not care enough for him to want to be put in danger.  There was another -- the woman of smoke. Essence. I did not like her.”

“Why's that?”

“She was not kind,” Kory said disdainfully.  “She was cold in her heart, and not to be trusted.”

“But Jason trusted her?  Did he love her?”

Kory shrugged.  “Perhaps it is better if you asked Jason.”

Right.  That made logical sense.  Only if he wanted to explain to Jason that he'd been asking his ex-friends about his exes, where one of said ex-friends turned out to be yet another ex.  Right. That made logical sense if Dick wanted to get himself shot by an angry Jason Todd.

The conversation with Kory effectively ended at that, and Dick said his goodbyes, giving Damian his requisite hug away from prying eyes.  He departed for Bludhaven, and as he lifted off and set the coordinates for home, he couldn't help but hear Artemis’ words in his mind again:

_“Anyone and Jason? Goddess, that is too funny.”_

She was wrong. Clearly. Jason had managed a few relationships, albeit unsuccessfully, but that didn't make her right.  

 _Actually, it sort of does_ , that stupid inside-voice of Dick’s logical brain interrupted.

 _But that doesn't mean she's going to be right forever_ , that romantic and corny part of Dick argued back. Jason just needed another chance to find someone special, and Dick was going to help him do it, whether he knew it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Dick makes a list and checks it twice.
> 
> If you liked this so far, kudos and especially comments would be much appreciated :)  
> Also, hit me up on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/gavotteandgigue)!


	2. Chapter 2

Dick made a list. It was a list of “pros and cons,” but so far he was coming up a little short in the “pro” department.

Jason was attractive. Check.

He was a damn good fighter. Deadly even. Oh wait. Depending on the circumstances, maybe that actually went into the “con” department. Check.

He was good at making bad puns. Was that a pro or a con? Dick crossed it out and rewrote “funny.”  He could definitely put that under “pros.” Check.

What else? Now that Dick was thinking about it, Jason was actually quite stunning when you could catch him smiling. Even a little quirk of the lips was adorable and even breathtaking. Okay, this was starting to make Dick feel a little uncomfortable, plus that was already covered under “attractive.” He moved on to look back over his “cons” list.

History of failed relationships. Check.

Anger issues. Check.

PTSD from unspecified childhood trauma. Check.

Bad habit of smoking. Check.

Doesn’t communicate. Check.

Violent homicidal tendencies. Check.

Huh. That last one was generally a deal breaker, but Jason had kind of gotten over his most murderous fits of rage. Despite his reputation for being ruthless, as far as Dick knew Jason had never killed anyone indiscriminately. Dick still wouldn’t ever approve of his means, but he had to admit to his own hypocrisy of holding Jason to a higher, perhaps unattainable standard. All of the bats had worked alongside killers before. That included members of the Justice League -- Diana, Aquaman, even Green Arrow, and from Dick’s recent past -- Tyger, Huntress, Midnighter…. Those were just a few of the latest from his time with Spyral.  

Jason really wasn’t that different, and now that Dick was looking back on it, it certainly didn’t seem fair that they had ostracized Jason while working alongside others who shared his beliefs.  But… it was just that Jason was _family_ , and somehow that made Dick expect things he normally wouldn't of other people. Jason was a bat, even if some of them, including Jason himself, had forgotten that for a time. And being a bat meant something _more_. Dick just needed to find Jason a special someone who understood that.  

It had to be someone who could forgive and forget.

 _Empathy, most certainly._ That little voice in Dick’s head was running a commentary again.

Maybe they’d even be able to help Jason manage his anger issues?

_Yep, high emotional intelligence!_

Best case scenario, they would be instrumental in steering Jason away from killing completely.

_No killing. An absolute must!_

They’d have to have good upstanding morals.

_A paragon of the superhero community!_

They’d have to be pretty headstrong and able to stick to their guns.

_Unwavering fortitude!_

While knowing how not to set Jason off.

_A good harmonizer!_

That person needed to be well-respected by their peers.

 _A good leader would be perfect!_ That little voice in his head cheered with glee.

There were plenty of people like that, right?

…

Right?

…

He waited for that stupid head-voice to give an affirmative.

No response. Damnit.  

Dick had to admit, his mental scenario wasn’t looking all that good. Someone who met all his criteria as a good partner for Jason wasn’t going to be easy to find. And the kind of person who would appreciate the qualities on Jason’s “con” list wasn't exactly the kind of person Dick wanted for Jason. If he was going to find Jason a match, that person would also need to pass the most rigorous level of bat-muster, and in order to find that kind of person, Dick needed to beef up the “pro” list. He needed more good qualities he could _sell_ , but at the moment he was coming up blank.  

That didn’t mean that Jason truly didn’t have any other good qualities. Dick was sure he had plenty, it was just that he needed a reminder. He needed to see and interact with Jason again, but knocking on his door and asking for _brotherly time_ was so far out of the ordinary that Jason would be immediately suspicious. No, that would be a bad approach. If they ever did anything together, it usually involved punching people, so Dick just needed to come up with someone they could beat up jointly.

That was easy. There were plenty of people to pummel across the crime-ridden landscape of Gotham and Bludhaven, but Dick also needed a believable reason for him to call Jason in for help.That part was harder, but doable. After a couple days of digging, scouting out various leads and using good old-fashioned detective work, Dick came up with one Vincent Bianchi, a former drug runner of the Red Hood who’d been expanding his shop into the ‘Haven. It wasn’t unusual for dealers to overflow from Gotham, but his connection to Jason was one he could work with, and the kicker was -- he’d been purportedly using teenagers to deal into Blüdhaven High.

Jason would definitely be interested.

 _Ur old pal VBianchi is selling to kids in Blud_ , Dick texted Jason's latest burner phone. He had been ignoring Dick’s more casual messages, but this one garnered an immediate response.

 _Send deets. I’ll take care of it,_ he texted back.

 _No. Meet me tonight at mine._ Dick followed with the location of his apartment and a time. He didn’t want Jason solving this by going straight to Bianchi and putting a bullet in his head. That would defeat the whole purpose of his wanting to find some way to interact with Jason.  

He spent the rest of the day putting together a plan -- not for dealing with Bianchi, because that part was easy -- but rather a plan for engaging with Jason. If he was going to find Jason a date, he’d probably need more than a one-off takedown of some low-rate thug to keep up their interactions. He’d need some reason or some way of observing Jason more regularly over a period of time.

Dick had an idea.

 _Come early. Will have takeout_ , he texted to Jason.

 _As long as ur not cooking_ , he texted back.

Perfect! Dick found he was unconsciously rubbing his palms together. Oops. That was a little too super-villainy, but he was glad his plans were coming to fruition.

He picked up an array of Thai takeout that evening (he wasn’t sure what Jason liked, but Dick remembered him not being all that picky), and Jason arrived to chow down.

“So Vinny’s back to his old tricks, sounds like,” Jason heaped a pile of pad thai onto his plate. “I know you’re trying to schmooze me away from putting a bullet in his head, so give me a good reason not to.”

Damn, Jason was on to him quicker than Dick had hoped, but he was focused on the case… and seemingly unaware of Dick’s _other motive_ , so he was prepared.  

“He’s small time enough that I think a visit from you will scare him off the kids,” Dick explained, “but I’m hearing rumors that he’s making ties with some of the casinos to launder drug money. I want to follow the cash and see if I can take down something bigger. I’m going to need Vinny to stick around to leave the trail.”

Jason nodded. It was a good enough reason for him it seemed. “Fine. It’s your town, we’ll do it your way for now, but you need to stay out of my way when I talk to Vinny.”

“Deal,” Dick agreed. “It's better if he doesn’t know Nightwing is involved anyway.”

They finished up their meal, and as Jason excused himself to use the restroom, Dick couldn’t help but grin proudly. The setup phase of _Operation Matchmaker_ was already underway. Dinner and a quick case was only the beginning. Dick had needed a near-term way to keep tabs on Jason, so he had done the only thing a reasonably pseudo-obsessive, paranoid member of the the bat-family would do: he surreptitiously loaded Jason’s food with sub-nano biotrackers.

The tech had been appropriated from Midnighter and the trackers were practically undetectable. They weren’t permanent -- they’d get absorbed into Jason’s bloodstream and stay in his system for at least a month before eventually getting flushed out harmlessly. That was plenty long enough for Dick to get a better feel for Jason, and to be able to track him without having to constantly find excuses to see him in person.

Dick got dressed for the evening, pulling on his _Nighty Tighties_ and configuring his comm so he could listen in on Jason’s “talk” with Vinny. Jason was already geared up and ready to go when Dick emerged from his bedroom, and Dick couldn’t suppress his elation as they climbed out the window and the pair of them swung out into the night.

_/////////////////////////////////////////_

“Stop!  Oh god, please!” Vinny sniveled. Tears and snot ran down his face, and he shook and trembled in his bindings. Jason had tied him to a chair in an abandoned warehouse and started smacking him around. There were rivulets of blood dripping down the side of Vinny's head,  making a mess of his shirt. Head wounds tended to bleed profusely, even a small nick, and Jason had given him a tad more than a _small nick_. It wasn't enough to cause any serious harm, but it was doubtful that Vinny knew that. Jason was making a point, and the blood spattering around was done simply for dramatic emphasis.  

That and the knife sticking out of Vinny's thigh.

Dick trusted that Jason knew what he was doing. If he was keeping to his promise of letting Vinny live, then he had done it only to cause an excruciating amount of pain while avoiding any major arteries or any lasting permanent damage. Again, Dick doubted Vinny knew that last part. The only thing that was probably going through Vinny’s mind at the moment was how he could convince the Red Hood not to flay him alive as he begged for his life.

“I’ll call them off! I promise,” Vinny sputtered. “Hood, please, I swear! I… I did good work for you. I still can!”

It took an incredible amount of effort on Dick's part not to step in, but he had made a deal with Jason, and he restrained himself from interfering. Instead, he relegated himself to watching through a scope a building away, and listening through the open channel of Jason's comm.

“Sure, Vinny, but that was then.” Jason’s modulated voice was taunting and cruel. He flipped and twirled a second knife he’d been using in his hand, and little flecks of blood flew off to splatter across Vinny’s face. “You were a good logistics guy. You did good work, but you also knew I had one important rule: No dealing to kids.  Ever. You broke that rule, Vinny. How’s a guy supposed to react when you break the golden rule? Did you think I wouldn’t know, just because you’re in the ‘Haven?”

He punctuated by stabbing the second knife into the meat of Vinny's arm. The man squealed in pain and fear as Jason dragged it downward, slicing a long gash down his bicep.

Dick sighed dejectedly. He was going to have to add “brutal torture” to Jason’s “cons” list. Check.

“No, Hood,” Vinny sobbed, “it wasn’t like that. I just needed to get established. I fucked up. I’ll stop the kids. I swear. Please don’t kill me! You want a cut? Whatever you want! It's yours. Just don’t kill me!” Vinny dissolved into a tears again, and Dick found he couldn’t take it anymore. Jason had asked him not to intervene, and he didn’t, but this was going on too long. He wouldn't directly interfere, but he could still interrupt.  

“Hood,” Dick said sternly into his comm, “that’s enough. He’s yours. Wrap it up. I’m making a call for an ambulance.”

Jason didn’t visibly respond, but he did finish up. “Fine, Vinny. Just ‘cause I know you do good work, and I want _in_ with the casinos. I get my standard cut plus twenty. No skimping. And any hint of you going near kids again, you’ll look back on tonight as if this was a trip to the spa.”

He patted Vinny on the face and casually strolled out of the warehouse.

Dick waited to make sure the ambulance arrived, and then he caught up to Jason several rooftops away. Dick was ready to lash out at him, to yell at him for being needlessly cruel and vindictive, but he stopped short when he spied Jason. There was something odd about the way he was hunched over, helmet off. He was wiping at his hands, over and over again, trying to scrub some of the flaking blood away. When that failed, he pocketed the bloody cloth and leaned his forehead to press against the wall of a rooftop access.

“Fuck off, Dick,” Jason spoke as soon as Dick landed on the roof.  “I don’t need your lecturing. I’m the fucking Red Hood. There’s a reason why people are _terrified_ of me, and it's not because I _hug it out_ with anyone who crosses me.” Jason whirled to face him, an angry sneer across his lips.  Jason was agitated. Was he… _bothered_ by what he had just done?

As the Red Hood, Jason had maimed and killed countless criminals, and he had never made any apologies about the means justifying the ends. When he had first returned, Jason had certainly been psychotic, and it had only recently occured to the bats that that may have had more than a little influence from the Lazarus Pit…. But now, Dick couldn't help but wonder if there was more to Jason than what he let on.

Outwardly, Jason was displaying all the classic signs of aggression, his posture rigid, leaning forward with his feet set wide. His arms, covered in smeared blood and fluid were held out to his sides, making his already impressive frame appear all the more larger. His fists were clenched tightly, his eyes slitted and teeth clenched and bared.

And yet… the way he didn’t exactly meet Dick’s eye, the way he simply stood just out of reach instead of attacking. The way after a few tense moments when Dick didn’t react, Jason spun on his heel, exposing his back to Dick as he stomped off toward the building ledge. The way his shoulders hunched and the way he unconsciously began to pull his hands inwards to grip his elbows, before he stopped himself to simply let his arms drop to his sides. The way he heaved a few forceful breaths before he got himself back under control.

There was conflict there. Dick could see it clearly now that he was actually looking. For the first time, he realized Jason’s hostility might only be a well-tuned act to hide something deeper. Perhaps Jason wasn’t the stone cold killer he claimed he was? Maybe he wasn’t as indifferent to Bianchi’s pleas for mercy as he wanted Dick to think, but Jason still did what he did because he _had to_ if he was going to maintain his cover as the Red Hood.

Now that Dick thought about it, it had never occurred to him before that in a lot of ways, Jason was _trapped_ in his own persona. The Red Hood was indeed a crime lord, and one that was known for being ruthlessly brutal. That didn’t just go away if Jason had to keep in character, and he had been ‘in character’ pretty much since he came back from the dead.

How much of the Red Hood was an act? What did Jason see in himself, Dick wondered, if he stepped out from behind the artifice of the Red Hood?  

The sad truth was Dick wasn't entirely sure. The only comforting fact about that was Jason probably wasn't sure either, and as Dick's volatile sort-of-brother brushed past him wearing an air of bluster like some kind of armor, a part of Dick just wanted to grab him and shake him. As if that would somehow cause him to shed this _shell_ of the Red Hood he was wearing, revealing the snarky and spirited second-boy-wonder he used to be underneath.  

Dick wanted to reach out and _touch_ … because that's what Dick had always needed when he was losing sight of himself. He knew what it felt like, to pretend to be someone you're not. It wasn't too long ago that he had been a part of Spyral, where he had had to commit similar reprehensible acts just shy of ever killing anyone. It wasn't too long before _that_ he had been pretending to be Batman, living in the darkness with the burden of the cowl on his shoulders. He could empathize with pretending to be someone you didn't want to be, and if Jason would just open up a little, maybe they could close some of this awkwardness between them.

He reached a hand out, “Jason….”

“No.” Jason didn't even let him start. Before Dick could say anything more, Jason put his helmet back on and grappled away.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this ended on a downer. This isn't meant to be a light fic exactly, but it's not nearly as dark as my other fics. I did "add" a chapter though, because I split up one of the longer ones, but will try to post the next one sooner to make up for it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this chapter out sooner, but life happens. Fortunately, there is a solution: coffee.

It was the next morning -- _yes, noon is still morning,_ his head-voice says _\--_ and Dick was looking at his list again. He’d resolved to leave “brutal torture” off the list for now. He could probably talk Jason down to just “enhanced interrogation” instead, a perfectly acceptable practice by anyone wearing the bat symbol... but now he was stuck pondering _another_ list candidate:

Emotionally impenetrable.

That was not something Dick wanted to add to Jason's list either. That would certainly land him under ‘ _undateable_ ,’ but how else could he say it? Yesterday hadn't ended terribly well, because _yeesh_. Jason didn't just close the doors around himself, he slammed them shut in your face and then burned the house down while he escaped.  

Literally.

After Jason had grappled away, he shut down his comms, destroyed his burner phone, and torched his last known safehouse. The message was clear: Go. Away.

Dick was undeterred, however. After all, it wasn't the first safehouse Dick had seen go up in flames, and _emotionally impenetrable_ was a term easily applied to Bruce once upon a time. Dick had slowly chiseled the ice down on his adoptive father, sometimes for the worse given their explosive arguments, but Bruce had certainly come a long way from being the lone wolf he always claimed to be. Wayne Manor was a far cry from a dreary hall of desolation nowadays.

 _Just look at the small horde of bat kids always hovering around,_ Dick’s head-voice exclaimed.

Yep, he thought, thanks in no small way to Dick himself having softened Bruce up over the years.

_Jason's no different. You just have to work your magic!_

Exactly. Jason was much like Bruce in so many ways. They were both stubborn as heck. They both tended to retreat into themselves when stressed. They both used anger as a shield. They both did everything they could to keep others at arm's length.

_A challenge for sure, but not impossible!_

Right. Dick just needed time and good ol’ fashioned perseverance, and he was sure to wear Jason down eventually.

_You can do it!_

Of course he could! Dick believed it with a conviction, but eventually he would need to convince a potential _special someone_ to believe it too. He needed more he could work with in order to ward off any potentially unsavory suitors.

_Super villains need not apply!_

Yes indeedy! He would have none of that for Jason, no matter how attractive to super villains he looked. He just needed to come up with some more wholesome qualities for his list, which was why Dick found himself tailing Jason a few days later from the rooftops.

It was fortunate that Dick had gotten the trackers into Jason when he did, but it still wasn't easy. He could track Jason's location, but watching him without being spotted was something else entirely. Jason knew all the tricks and then some, and even though he was out and about in broad daylight, he was still diligent in his tradecraft. That meant Dick couldn't get too close, and he couldn't rely on the fact that most people didn't bother to look up either. Jason avoided cameras and knew all the blind spots on main thoroughfares, so Dick was relegated to scoping him from a fair distance away.

Jason had appeared out of a dimensional door earlier in the day -- at some point Bizarro had gained several quotients in intelligence, and with it, the Outlaws had acquired an arsenal of new tech -- but all Dick had observed Jason doing so far was go to a small local grocery store. He went in with an empty backpack and came out with it stuffed full.  

At first Dick had suspected Jason had made some kind of backroom deal for arms or ammunition. It wasn't unusual for black market dealers to use small local shops as a front, but when Jason stopped at a corner beside a homeless man to rifle through his bag, Dick could see his bag held actual _groceries_ \-- fresh celery, carrots and other green leafy things, something wrapped in butcher paper that was probably raw meat, and was that a bag of onions?

Was he going to… was he going to _cook_? The only thing Dick had seen Jason cook was a can of beans back at the circus trailer, but if Jason could actually put a meal together from scratch…

 _Score!_ The head-voice whooped excitedly.

It was something Dick could add to his list! Cooking skills was A-plus material. Check!

Back on the street, Dick saw that Jason was digging down to the bottom of his bag.  He finally pulled a box of energy bars out to hand to the man. He then sat down beside him on the curb, pulled out a pack of cigarettes and offered one to the man, who accepted. Jason then huddled himself down, nodding as he listened to whatever the man was saying. They talked. For a long while too. They went through a second round of cigarettes before they eventually got up. The man followed Jason a few blocks until they stopped in front of the St. Benedict Mission.

Jason handed him his backpack full of groceries, and they shook hands before the man went inside. Jason lingered a couple minutes before he went on his way.

Huh.

Dick mentally added “charitable” and “kind" to his list.

Jason disappeared after that, only to reappear minutes later several blocks away carrying a different bag. It was a large duffle slung over his shoulder, stuffed to capacity with something round and lumpy.

A chill ran up Dick's spine when he saw that. Jason had made a name for the Red Hood with a duffle bag full of….

 _Severed heads!_ His head-voice yelped. _That was supervillain material!_

It couldn’t be _that_ , right? Jason had refrained from that sort of outright brutality since he had reconciled somewhat with the family. Dick watched with trepidation as Jason walked casually down several blocks until he reached a small, run-down playground. There were several kids milling about the dilapidated benches by an open asphalt court. They looked relatively young, maybe preteen, but they were passing something around. A joint. They scrambled to their feet when they saw Jason approach.

They didn't immediately run however. Instead they seemed to recognize Jason as he dropped the duffle bag at their feet. They talked, waved their arms around in the air, and Jason shrugged and motioned for them to open the duffle. The kids knelt down around it.

Dick zoomed in as much as he could with his scope, watching as one of the kids reached for the zipper, pulling it across the length of the bag, reaching both hands in to reveal...

… a basketball. Several basketballs.

_Oh thank god!_

Dick breathed a sigh of relief, and then felt a little silly. Jason wouldn’t have brought a bag of severed heads to a bunch of children. He hadn't actually believed Jason would do such a thing. Right?

_Of course not!_

The kids sprang up excitedly, tossing four basketballs between the group, trying to dribble as they ran toward the courts. Jason followed them, signaling to one of the kids to pass him the ball. He dribbled, demonstrated a crossover, before doing a lay-up into the hoop. The kids followed suit, practicing and running and playing. They were laughing and having fun, and so was Jason. The smile on his face was genuine and unguarded. Dick didn't think he had ever seen Jason like that, even before he died.

They continued like that for a long while, and even though Dick knew he should probably be doing something else, he couldn't help but continue to watch as Jason coached them into a proper game. Eventually they stopped for a break, and Jason led the kids to the edge of the park where he proceeded to buy them hot dogs and ice cream from a small food cart.

Dick smiled. He added “good with kids” to Jason's “pros” list.

_/////////////////////////////////////////_

A few days later, Dick found himself pacing in his apartment. He should have been planning that evening’s patrol route, working on the follow up to his cases, or looking into the leads Detective Svoboda had reluctantly given him on the League of Limousine Assassins, but all Dick could think about was _Jason._

A quick check of the trackers showed he was still in Gotham, moving about the city. Questions began to run through Dick's mind as he tried to make sense of the pattern:

Was Jason restocking his arms, or restocking his pantry? Was he planning a mission with the Outlaws, or taking another downtrodden soul to the Mission? Was he playing out his next move to take down Gotham crime, or playing basketball with the kids again?

 _Quit wearing a hole in your carpet and go see what he's up to!_ His stupid head-voice was at it again. Dick could even picture his head-self rolling his eyes at his real-self.

Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea though. It had been fascinating and heartening to watch Jason's more hidden qualities unfold before Dick's eyes. Now that he had gotten a glimpse of this other side of Jason, he couldn't help himself. He wanted to see more. No… it was like he _needed_ to see more. He felt almost like if he _wasn’t_ watching, he’d miss something important.

_What are you waiting for? Go!_

Maybe he could just do a quick round into Gotham before he started patrol? He could make it quick, and be back in Blüdhaven just after sunset.

_Just a quick peak!_

Yep. No harm done if he made it fast, and Dick still needed to build his “pros" list.

He suited up and headed out. After a jaunt in the wing-cycle, Dick found himself tailing Jason yet again, this time across the Bowery and into the older, derelict neighborhoods near Crime Alley.

Dick wondered at what new qualities in Jason he would see this time. He hadn't seen anything particularly earth-shattering last time, but it was surprisingly enlightening. The words gentle, giving, and kind were never the first words that came to mind with Jason, but Dick had been glad to learn he’d been wrong. Jason was all those things, but only when none of the bats were looking apparently. It stood in stark contrast to what Dick had always seen of Jason as the Red Hood.

Even when Jason had been Robin, Dick had mostly seen an upstart and angry kid. Intellectually, of course he’d known that Jason had always had more heart and compassion than he let on. You didn't put on the Robin costume in the first place if you didn't have a strong sense of justice and want to make things right, but Jason hid so much of himself, it was easy to forget.

It was almost evening when Dick caught up to Jason as he meandered through the refuse-ridden streets, dressed casually in a red hoodie and jeans. The particular district they were in was chronically impoverished and didn't hold many shops. The only storefronts that stayed in business were cheap food joints, check cashing stores with signs that said “payday loans" in capital letters, small bodegas and an occasional used cell phone store offering prepaid plans. There was, however, a small flower shop on the corner that Jason ducked into for several minutes. He came out holding a colorful bouquet in his hand.

Odd. What was Jason doing with a bunch of flowers? Was he going to give them to someone? Artemis perhaps? Or someone else Dick didn't know about? Perhaps there _was_ someone Jason was interested in, but who that could be Dick didn't have a clue. His interest was piqued however, as he continued to follow Jason along several more blocks from the rooftops.  

The neighborhood Jason ambled into was steadily growing worse and worse. Blighted buildings lined the streets, the boarded windows and chain-linked fences closed everyone and everything out, as if the city itself was saying “ _keep out!_ ”

It was like a diseased limb cut away from the heart of the city, left to die a slow and lonely death. Many of the buildings were condemned, having suffered the brunt of Gotham’s meta-disasters, but without the benefit of interested parties with deep pockets. Redevelopment funding had landed in the wealthier districts. Money went to areas where investors could see more return. What was left was this place -- an urban desert of desolation.

Jason walked slowly along a block that seemed devoid of any signs of life. It looked like the entire block had been cordoned off, but there was one small dilapidated dwelling sandwiched between two larger tenements. It was in front of this building that Jason stopped, standing completely still as he stared silently upward at the top floor windows.

After a few beats of silence, Dick noticed there was an old, withered brown bouquet of flowers tied to the rusted railing leading up to the front door. He noted that Jason had navigated here with familiarity. Had he been here before? With those flowers…?

It was obvious Jason had been the one who had brought the previous flowers here. Dick didn’t know for sure what this place meant to Jason, but he could guess. Perhaps this was where he grew up? Perhaps this was a place that was prominent in his childhood? Perhaps this was even the place where his mother, Catherine, had died?

Jason stood there in front of the house for a long time, just… looking. Remembering perhaps? Dick didn’t know what to do. It felt like he was witnessing something extremely personal and private, and a pang of guilt struck him. He shouldn’t have been watching this, because even from a distance, he could see what that tense set to Jason’s shoulders meant. That rigid clench of his jaw. That hollowness in his eyes.

Grief. And pain.

A pain that Dick knew all too well. After all, he had lost his parents too. As had Bruce. As had so many of the bats, and yet… Dick realized that he knew very little of Jason’s childhood save for the few details that Bruce hadn’t encrypted in his file. Jason never talked about his parents. Ever. All Dick knew was that the loss of his mother had irrevocably damaged him.

_Damaged._

Jason was damaged. That was a con. Dick mentally winced. He shouldn't have been thinking about his list at the moment. He should probably have left as soon as he realized how deeply personal this was, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to leave.

Back on the streets below, Jason slowly untied the wilted bouquet from the railing and re-tied the new one in its place. He stared down at the dead flowers in his hand, before he began to slowly knead the dead blossoms between his fingers, crumbling them apart. The wilted dust of the blossoms drifted away in a soft breeze that blew through the deserted streets.

The sun was beginning to set, and the long shadows cast by the ramshackle buildings began to grow and spread, enveloping the streets and Jason along with it in a growing darkness.

It occurred to Dick then, that maybe this place was a grave of sorts. Maybe this was where something _inside_ Jason had died. Maybe his earlier intuition was correct, and this was the place where he had lost the only thing that had ever been important to him as a child -- his mother.

Which meant that this was also the first place where, metaphorically speaking, no one had caught him when he fell.

This was where he had been left to survive on the streets before Bruce found him. This was where Jason was left to wither and crumble away, like the dead brown blossoms that Jason now scattered to the wind.

Eventually there was nothing left to crumble. The leaves and withered petals of the old bouquet were gone. All that was left were stems.  

Jason dropped them into the gutter and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \-- Another ending on a downer. Sorry, but not sorry.  
> \-- It seems like stalking someone would actually be really boring. Though I wouldn’t actually know. XD


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter with the sexual scene. No sex happens, but it is a part of the chapter.

_Meet up to talk our case?_ Dick thumbed in the message and hit send.

He had managed to finagle Jason's latest burner number from Tim, and had been texting Jason the last few days, trying to get a response -- trying to find a reason for them to meet up in person. Dick was getting frustrated with just watching Jason, because it didn't allow him to interact.

 _Howsit going? Any more on Bianchi?_ Dick texted again the next day when there was there was no indication his text bubble had been read. Still no response.

Maybe he needed to make it less formal? Less like he was demanding a report out?

_Wanna go beat up some bad guys?_

Ugh. Now that was just dumb. Message read. No indication anyone was typing a response.

_Gonna swing by Gotham, r u patrolling?_

Okay, that was a little better, more casual and cool. Message read. Jason was typing… and typing… and typing… and then nothing. No message came back.

Dick stared at his phone for way too long. Maybe Jason didn't actually have any updates on the case and didn't want to go patrolling? Maybe Dick needed to entice him with something more fun and interesting?

 _Check out my new sticks. I call them wingchucks._ He attached a picture of his upgraded escrima. Roy had futzed with them so that he had the option of attaching a line between them.

His phone buzzed. Finally! The reply from Jason read: _Do they explode? If not, lame._

His escrima were built to withstand blunt force and to ricochet off solid objects when he threw them. If they exploded on impact, well… that would kind of defeat the whole purpose of non-lethal, not to mention it would probably take off an arm or two.

 _No exploding_ , Dick reluctantly texted back _._ _But I got 37 bounces in the batcave,_ he added.

Message read, and Jason was typing… and typing… and typing…. He hoped Jason would reply.

He didn't. Damnit.

Dick tried a few more texts, but Jason continued to ignore Dick's overtures. It was starting to feel like he was having a conversation with himself.

 _You're being too pushy!_ His head-voice chimed in.

Maybe his head was right. Maybe he just needed to give Jason some space?

_Don't make him feel cornered!_

Yes. Head-voice Dick was right. Jason reacted better when he could dictate his own terms, just like when he reached out to Dick to join the Outlaws at the circus.  Dick just needed to back off a little, and with a little self-restraint, he managed to refrain from texting Jason anymore for the next three days.

On the fourth day, Jason texted back: _I've got an update on VB. Meet at yours tonight. My turn for grub._

Dick almost did a little dance, and then felt absurd. Why he was so excited suddenly? It wasn't like he hadn't seen Jason recently. In fact, Dick had spied on him only a few days ago. Maybe spying was more frustrating than he realized?

Regardless, Jason was coming, so Dick spent the rest of the afternoon throwing out empty food containers and airing out his apartment. He had been making so many trips back and forth between Blüdhaven and Gotham that he didn't have time to clean, and he didn't want Jason to think he was some sort of slob. Not that it mattered, right?

_Just don't give him a reason to think something's up!_

Yes. That. Dick wanted to give the impression that he was busy, but had everything under control. _Everything_. Including his housekeeping.

He was just putting the last of his laundry into his hamper when Jason turned up with a smorgasbord of takeout from Blüdhaven’s growing “gourmet food ghetto.”

Dick was oddly crestfallen when Jason didn’t comment on the clean state of his apartment. Jason spared only a passing glance at the environment before he plopped the containers down on Dick's coffee table, then proceeded to update on intel on Vincent Bianchi’s operations.

“They're funneling money through the casinos, and then putting it into a real estate investment trust,” Jason flicked a small data drive through the air, aiming it straight at Dick's face, but Dick caught it before it could bounce off his head and hit the floor.

Jason stabbed a Nepalese momo with a plastic fork and popped it into his mouth, and Dick watched with amusement as the fearsome Red Hood continued to stuff his face full of the savory dumplings. A little dribble of sauce leaked from the corner of his mouth as he chewed and swallowed, and Jason flicked his tongue out and the sauce was gone.

Dick realized he was staring. Jason's lips were a little flushed and wet from eating, but what caught Dick’s eye was just how _pouty_ Jason's mouth was. It wasn't so much that his lips were particularly full, but it was something about the way he'd press them together, his bottom lip jutting out just slightly. Dick thought it was really cute.

Jason didn't seem to notice, he just kept talking as he stabbed a few more dumplings. “Vinny’s funneling the money into several apartment projects actually, and developing the area over by the wharf.”

That aligned with what Dick had gathered. Bianchi had raised quite the sum with his fledgling drug peddling, and was now venturing into new business endeavors using the drug money the Red Hood was now also invested in.

“I’ll piece together the data trail tomorrow,” Dick nodded, highly pleased with how their partnership was turning out. “I’ll lay out something that Detective Svoboda can use to shut it down.”

“No,” Jason suddenly proclaimed.

“No?” Dick asked, confused.

“No. You're not shutting it down,” Jason clarified.  

Except he didn't. It wasn't clear at all why Jason was suddenly changing his mind, so Dick pushed for an answer, “Care to explain why?”

Jason didn't respond immediately, but there was a minuscule upturn at the corner of his mouth. He knew Dick was rankled, and he was enjoying it. “Because I don't want to,” he finally said.

Dick clenched his jaw. He hoped this wasn't going to turn into a fight. He had really liked watching Jason scarf down those momos earlier, but all sorts of other less fun things were now swirling through Dick's head like a brewing storm.

Maybe Jason was falling back into old habits? _Not those severed heads!_

Maybe he was reneging on his deal about not killing? _Utter betrayal!_

Maybe he was plotting something bigger? _The birth of a criminal empire!_

Dick couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let Jason go down that road again.

_You have to stop him! Before he does something he regrets!_

Yes, even more for Jason’s own sake than for the future of Blüdhaven’s criminal underworld. Dick had to confront Jason -- to end this before it could start.

“Are you pulling out so you can put a bullet in Vinny?” Dick blurted out, realizing after the fact that he had raised his voice. “Is this part of some new plan to control Blüdhaven like you did back in Gotham?”

Jason didn't answer immediately. He just stared back at Dick. He seemed oddly disappointed, even _angry_... the minuscule upturn of his lips now inverted downard. “Seems like you've already settled on an answer.”

Dick made a conscious attempt not to react. He really had to put some willpower into it, because Jason’s taciturn behavior was making it really hard not to be aggravated. It was almost like he was intentionally doing the opposite of what Dick expected, just out of spite.

“ _Jason_ , _”_ Dick said as sternly as possible, standing up from his seat, crossing his arms and settling his best disapproving glare on Jason's form.

Jason merely leaned back where he was reclined on the couch, draping an arm over the back leisurely as he replied in a mocking tone, “ _Dick_.”

They stayed like that, the tension thick and heavy. At least it felt that way to Dick. Jason looked irritatingly at ease, and it was Jason who finally broke the silence. “Don’t pop an aneurysm now, Dick-face. Do you need some ex-lax to get that pillar of righteousness out of your judgemental ass?”

“I'm not --,” Dick ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “If you'd just _tell me_ what you're planning, maybe I wouldn't need to get worked up about it!”

Jason pressed his mouth into that little pout of his again, a tiny little curl at the corner of his mouth that betrayed the fact that he was purposefully being thorny.

“Relax, Dick-o,” Jason leaned forward to grab more dumplings, his movements still casual and calm, “I'm keeping the project going because Blüdhaven needs more affordable housing. No reputable developer is gonna invest in this shithole, so the Red Hood will pick up the slack.”

“Oh,” Dick said in surprise, but he was incredibly relieved as he flopped back into his chair.  “Why didn't you just say so?” He chucked a nearby empty container at Jason, which was batted out of the way without even a blink of an eye.

“Because you were already making a jackass out of yourself, and I figured I'd let you see it through,” Jason chuckled sardonically, and Dick couldn't help but observe that it was a little bitter as well. Jason was right. Dick had jumped to conclusions rather quickly, and he realized guiltily he _was_ being a jackass by automatically assuming the worst.

“I'm sorry, Jay,” Dick started, but Jason waved his hand to stop him.

“No. I knew what you thought of me. Why would I ever expect anything but sanctimonious hypocrisy from you?” Jason shrugged and then got up from the couch and gathered his things. “This case is done, far as I see it. Thanks for the food. See you _never_ , Dickhead.”

“Jason, wait!” Dick made to go after him, but Jason shot a seering glare at him that stopped him in his tracks.

Oh shit. Underneath the blasé Jason was actually pissed. Dick had really screwed up with Jason again.

Jason walked out of the apartment. Dick didn't make any further move to stop him.

_/////////////////////////////////////////_

Dick was obsessing. He felt guilty over jumping to conclusions with Jason, and he wanted to find some way to make it right. It was turning out that Dick hardly understood Jason at all, but assuming the worst had become a habit over the years. It was understandable at the start, given the way Jason came back into their lives, but Jason had been pretty amicable with the family for a while now. Dick should have given Jason the benefit of the doubt. He should have known better.

He should have known Jason better on the whole by this point, and yet Dick still hadn't known him well enough to put together a stupid list of his better qualities. The whole dating thing had been a dumb idea in hindsight -- a romantic relationship was probably the last thing on Jason's mind -- but if one good thing came of it, Dick had been enlightened to a greater depth of humanity he didn't even know Jason had.

Dick decided to abandon the pros and cons list, but he still wanted to get to know Jason more. He had enjoyed watching him. It was oddly fascinating to see Jason doing such mundane things as grocery shopping and playing basketball with neighborhood kids. It was revealing in a way that made something inside Dick feel warm and fuzzy. Discovering that Jason was kind and gentle beneath the hard exterior of the Red Hood was giving him hope that someday he could bring that part out of him more. Dick wanted to see more of this ‘secret’ Jason. He _needed_ to see it, because for some strange reason he felt a little empty inside when he wasn't watching Jason. And when Dick thought about how they had left things… he felt incredibly regretful.

He didn't want to be fighting with Jason. He wanted to see him eating takeout across from him at his coffee table again. He wanted to see Jason playing with kids, handing out food to strangers, or even cooking with his teammates like he had that time Jason invited Dick into his circus trailer. He _missed_ seeing Jason in everyday life.

He couldn't stop thinking about it for some reason, and a couple days later, Dick found himself crouched on a rooftop once more, spying. He knew he shouldn't have been, that he had already crossed a line when he planted trackers in Jason's food, and that now, when Dick didn't even have the excuse of a joint case to fall back on, it could only be seen as a gross invasion of his privacy.... but Dick just _had_ to. Jason wasn't responding to his texts again. He had closed himself off, and even Tim and Alfred didn't have any luck reaching out. Dick told himself that he just wanted to make sure Jason was okay… that he'd just spend an hour or so watching a tiny slice of his life before Dick would retreat back to Bludhaven, satisfied that Jason was doing alright... but once he started watching he just couldn't stop.

It was early evening, and Dick was on a rooftop again, watching as Jason meandered about the city until he stopped outside a small salon in Burnside. It looked high-end and expensive, not exactly your run-of-the-mill barber where one expected to be in and out in twenty minutes. Jason lingered outside for several seconds, hesitating, before he finally opened the shop door and poked his head in. Someone inside must have invited him in, because in the next moment, Dick watched as Jason was ushered into a chair by the window. A salon robe was draped over his shoulders, and a youngish looking hairdresser with spiky blue hair began running his hands through Jason's hair and talking to him.  

Dick watched, fascinated as the hairdresser worked his magic. He hadn't quite noticed it before, but Jason's hair had gotten quite long and shaggy, especially in the front. The hairdresser snipped and buzzed away at Jason's dark locks, wisps of hair falling to the floor. It was oddly quaint and ordinary -- to think the infamous Red Hood needed a haircut at some point.  

When the hairdresser was done, Jason sported closely cropped sides with a bit more length neatly trimmed on top. Strangely enough though, there was a shock of white at his forehead that had been obscured by his dark bangs before.  Now, it stood out in stark contrast against the black of the rest of this hair. Dick scratched absently at his collar as he took it all in. It was striking and distinctive, and surprisingly attractive….

A squirt of some kind of gel, which the hairdresser rubbed quickly between his hands before finger combing through Jason's hair, caused his locks to stand up in perfectly styled spikes. It looked good. It suited his bad boy attitude without being overly edgy.

Jason checked himself in the mirror, angling his head in different directions, before running his hands tentatively along his stiffened hair. He seemed unsure of his new look… a little insecure as he turned back to the hairdresser, asking a question that Dick couldn’t hear, and pointing toward the white streak at his forehead. The hairdresser merely smiled, giving a little wink as he nodded reassuringly, saying something with a smile that instantly brought a blush of color to Jason's cheeks.

It was surprisingly endearing. It made Dick smile despite himself, because Jason preening in front of a mirror was a rare sight indeed. It was kind of... adorable.

Now _that_ was something he could add if he was still keeping a list.  Jason was secretly _adorable_.  Dick smiled even wider at the thought. He could add it to his list of pros.

_/////////////////////////////////////////_

Jason disappeared down an alleyway after that, reappearing a couple hours later in a different part of town, wearing a different outfit -- dark jeans and tshirt, and instead of his usual brown leather jacket, he wore a studded black moto. The look wasn't all that different from his normal civilian attire, but it was less subtle than usual. He stood out more with the thin t-shirt stretched snug across his pecs, his pants hugging tightly across the expanse of his pelvis, and with his new haircut… Jason was certainly worth a second look. He was earning himself more than a few interested glances from passersby.

Jason seemed both aware and unconcerned as he made his way back toward Burnside, but instead of heading directly into the main square, he swung into an alleyway and up a fire escape across the street from where Dick was lurking in the shadows.

At first, Dick thought Jason had spotted him, and Dick quickly hunkered behind the roof ledge he was perched on. A few seconds ticked by, and when there was a distinct lack of gunshots of an angry Red Hood assailing him, Dick ventured to peak back out.

It seemed Dick was still undetected. Jason was distracted by something. He wasn't looking in Dick's direction at all. Instead, he was scoping some other target on the other side of Burnside square. Was he on a stakeout? Jason wasn't exactly dressed for their typical night work. Maybe he was scoping out a location to go undercover?  That would make more sense. Burnside was prime hipsterville, and though Jason stood out for being unusually eye catching, other than that, he looked like a normal guy going out for the night. The only equipment Dick could see was the pair of compact binoculars Jason had produced from somewhere in his jacket. He probably had his guns stashed somewhere too, though Dick couldn't visibly see them.

After a few minutes, Jason tucked away his binoculars and lept back down to ground. He crossed the square and headed into a busy restaurant bar a short distance away. Dick couldn't see him after he disappeared inside, so he scoped out the entrance and exits from the alleyway across the street. The place looked relatively small, and there wasn't anyway he could get in without being spotted. Probably not with the crowd of people forming a line outside, and certainly not with Dick dressed as Nightwing.

Dick waited.

He pulled up a handheld receiver that he had been using with the planted trackers. It sported a thermal viewscreen that allowed him to track Jason through walls, and at the moment it allowed him to see the red and yellow heat signature of Jason, sitting at a booth. It also registered the heat signatures of anyone in Jason's immediate radius, and Dick could see he was talking to another man seated across from him.

Dick waited some more.

Ten minutes later Jason emerged, following the man as they walked quickly up the street. Dick scrambled back up onto the rooftops to follow them as they made their way into a nearby hotel. It was probably the location of an exchange, Dick thought. Jason was likely buying intel, or following some sort of lead, or making some other kind of deal. The guy he was following was big, and dark and roguish. He looked like he worked out, maybe ex-military, maybe some kind of mercenary, but he also looked uncharacteristically friendly somehow. He even smiled at Jason, which was so unlike the typical meathead thugs they dealt with on a nightly basis. Jason was also scowling less than usual. Perhaps they knew each other? Maybe they had traded intel before, and this was some kind of regular partnership?

Dick waited outside again, finding himself a shadowed blind spot across from the hotel and pulling up the thermal receiver. Jason and the roguish man were inside a top floor penthouse, and Dick realized he could spot them without the receiver through the floor to ceiling windows that had the curtains pulled back. Dick pulled out his binoculars instead.

Jason was sitting on a large leather sofa, lighting a cigarette. The other man handed him a glass of something. A drink, which Jason sipped hesitantly at first, but then quickly threw back. That was odd. Taking in intoxicating substances on the job was usually a no-no, unless it was part of the cover, and even then, it was a big risk. Jason must have deemed it safe enough and acceptable to risk it, but… was that nervousness in his body language? Jason was fidgeting slightly. It could be a put on for whatever identity he was using though. Dick had never known Jason to be visibly nervous, even as a teenager, and if Jason was unwittingly giving off a tell, then this was bad. Did Jason expect the deal to go south?  

A list of possible scenarios ran through Dick’s mind. The man could have some kind of leverage over Jason. Perhaps it was a deal that required a price Jason didn't want to pay? Perhaps Jason was expecting a fight he couldn't win?  Was the man a meta? If so, why hadn't Jason brought backup? Where were Bizarro and Artemis? Dick had been careful to use every bat-trick in the book to keep under their radar, but if Jason needed support, they should have been there.

It was possible Jason had asked them to stay behind, however. It was also possible that Jason had underestimated his target. Dick readied himself to step in should that be the case. It would blow open the fact that he had been spying on him, but he wouldn't just stand by if Jason was in real trouble.

Nothing happened for a long moment. The other man simply sat next to Jason and… it didn't look quite right. Dick’s hackles began to rise as the man leaned in closer. Fortunately, Jason stopped him with a hand up between them. He said something firmly, Dick couldn't make out what exactly, but he was adamant about something. The other man nodded and backed off, and Dick let out the breath he hadn't even realized he was holding, only to suck in a sharp breath again when as soon as Jason dropped his hand, the man pushed forward again… pushing forward with his _face_ as he captured Jason's mouth in a _kiss_.

Oh shit. What the _hell?_  Was this part of the deal? What in the world was Jason getting himself into?

The man brought both hands down onto Jason's shoulders, pushing him backwards onto the cushions until he was on top of him, straddling Jason beneath him without breaking the kiss, and Jason was just… _letting him._ He didn't move to throw the man off, even though Dick well knew that he could. He wasn't doing much of anything really. He wasn’t even responding much to the advances -- he had one hand gripping the edge of a cushion, and the other was braced on the back of the couch while the man angled his tongue into Jason’s mouth. The man’s hands roamed over Jason's chest, pulling him up enough to remove the jacket, and then pull the shirt over his head in a swift, practiced motion. He was pushing Jason down again, pulling at his fly... pushing down his pants far enough until he could cup Jason through the thin fabric of his briefs.  

Jason allowed it. All of it. He was starting to respond… showing a little more receptiveness. He reached a hand up to grip the man’s shoulder, arching into his touch.

Dick lost it.  

Something boiled up inside him, seemingly out of nowhere. A red hot rage and a deep protectiveness he hadn't felt in a long time. He couldn't watch this any longer. He had to put a stop to it. Undercover deal or not, Dick couldn't just stand by while Jason let himself get debased by some _stranger._

Dick vaulted over the roof ledge, shooting out a grapple line to swing down hard, and then crashed through the window in an explosion of glass.

To his credit, Jason was pushing his john, or buyer or would-be lover -- whatever he was -- over the back of the couch even before Dick broke through the window. Jason scrambled up to a defensive position, but he struggled because his pants were halfway down his thighs, briefs pushed just past the edge of his hips, giving Dick an eyeful of his partial arousal.

“Di--, _Nightwing?”_ Jason said incredulously. His eyes were wide and his mouth hung agape in shock. Dick had definitely managed to blindside him, and Dick used that to his advantage. A quick roll forward and he executed a nerve strike. Jason moved to block, but Dick had always been faster, and Jason was still reeling from Dick’s sudden entrance.

Dick struck quickly and precisely, first at the vagus nerve in his neck, and then at the peroneal nerve above the knee. Jason buckled over, and Dick used the opportunity to grab him before he could recover. He hauled Jason's arm over his shoulder, tying a line under his arms, and then lept out the window. Dick managed to swing a couple buildings over before Jason was fighting him for control. They swung wide, missing Dick's intended landing entirely so they both went sprawling across the rough asphalt rooftop sheeting of an office building. Dick angled himself to take the brunt of the landing, given Jason wasn't even wearing a shirt. The weight of him practically crushed the air out of Dick's lungs, and they rolled and tumbled several feet before they smacked into an air vent and came to a stop. Jason was up immediately, shoving Dick away and getting to his feet.

“What the fuck? What the hell just happened?” Jason was yelling loudly, his face red with anger, his arms and back covered in blood and bruises from skidding across the rooftop. He spared a moment to tuck himself back into his briefs and pull up his jeans, but then he was right back to furious cursing. “You had better have a fucking good explanation for this, you shit-face. What the fuck is going on?”

“Who was that? What kind of business are you dealing in?” Dick practically growled back. Some part of him recognized that he wasn't being altogether rational. That the overwhelming protectiveness… and _possessiveness_ he was feeling was clouding his judgement, but it was too much, too fast. The strong emotions he was feeling seemed to come out of nowhere and it was completely unexpected. It was too much for Dick to fully process in the moment without reacting. He couldn't keep the anger, and… and _betrayal_ out of his voice. “Are you trading yourself for intel?”

“What the--?” Jason rounded on him. “You think I'm selling _sex_? You seriously think that?”

“I'm not going to let you do this to yourself. Whatever intel you need, it's not worth this!” Dick had raised his voice even louder, and then suddenly Jason was attacking.

“You-- you…. How. Fucking. Dare you!” Jason lashed out wildly. Explosively. Uncontrolled anger erupting from him like a pyroclastic flow. It made him reckless and messy, but when he hit, he hit _hard_. Dick managed to dodge his first few strikes, but Jason pulled back and feinted, then swung around and kicked him square in the gut. If Jason had been wearing his regular boots, Dick was sure he'd be spitting blood, but even as it was, with Jason in nothing but his bare feet and hastily buttoned pants, Dick was still wheezing from the impact of the blow.

Jason was _pissed_ , and belatedly Dick realized that he had been so, so wrong. The level of magnitude of wrongness was off the scale. Dick had been horribly, stupidly, shamefully wrong about this entire situation. Jason wasn't buying intel. He wasn't swapping spit with a source as a form of exchange. He was just _hooking up_ with someone.

Jason continued to press his advantage against Dick. He tackled Dick to the floor of the rooftop, fisting one hand around the fabric of Dick's suit and pulled back his other to strike another blow.

“Stop!” Dick coughed and sputtered, and to his surprise, Jason paused his attack. Dick wasted no time. He twisted and rolled, using the torque of his body to topple Jason to the side and onto his back, flipping their positions. Dick clambered over him, pinning Jason's arms to his sides, using legs and his body weight to keep him down. “Jason, stop!”

“Stop what?” Jason spat, his lips pulled back in an anguished sneer as he tried to throw Dick off. “Stop being a goddamned fucking, greedy crime lord? Stop being a psychotic murderer? Stop being a fucking _whore_?”

“No! I don't --,” Dick struggled for words. “I didn't say that!”

“You made yourself loud and clear, Dick-face.” Jason stopped struggling and quieted. “You think I'm fucking trash. Garbage. I'm just…I’m nothing to you.” His last words were choked with a sob, and Dick was horrified. Because he didn't think that at all. It simply wasn't true, and to think that Jason thought that…. That it was possible he thought that of himself….

Dick had spent the last several weeks learning that Jason was much more than the Red Hood underneath. He had watched Jason show kindness and compassion to the needy and to children. He had watched Jason make the continued sacrifice of his personal identity for what he believed to be the greater good. Dick had also watched Jason be boyish and cute, and a little insecure, even though he was strikingly attractive, and… and….

Dick realized the reason for his sudden surge of irrational feelings… the reason for his possessiveness and the immense feeling of betrayal despite the fact that Jason owed him nothing. Over the last few weeks that Dick had been watching Jason, he had _fallen in love_.

“Jason, no…,” Dick shook his head, unable to explain. “No, I….” Before he even realized what he was doing, Dick leaned down and kissed Jason on the mouth.

Jason sucked in a sharp breath and froze beneath him, and Dick continued to press his lips against Jason's, parting his mouth slightly to touch the tip of his tongue to Jason's bottom lip. Making himself clear --  This was a kiss. This was what Dick really felt.

Jason didn't move for what felt like eons, but then he responded. Tentatively. Gingerly. He opened his mouth, just enough to glide his tongue outward to meet Dick’s, and then he was opening wider. Letting Dick in.  

Everything felt right. Everything felt perfect as Dick leaned in, angling his head to push the kiss deeper. Jason tasted darkly of malt alcohol and smoke. Strong and smooth with a hint of bitterness. Dick savored the taste of him as he raised his hands to cup of his face, pressing downward as he straddled Jason's thighs. He hadn't realized how much he had wanted this. He hadn't realized just how much he wanted to touch Jason, and to feel him so intimately close. His lips were surprisingly soft and pliant, his body surprisingly strong and solid beneath Dick's hands…. He felt warm… and… and… wet?

It was sticky. Flaky.

It was blood.

Then suddenly Jason was shoving at him again. He jabbed his fingers into Dick's ribs, eliciting an instinctive recoil and then Jason was rolling out from under him, getting to his feet and backing away.

Dick moved after him, but stopped short when he saw Jason's face. He was breathing heavily, his eyes wide and wild. He looked _… scared._ Like a cornered animal. His face, arms and torso were still smeared in blood from the cuts and scrapes from crash landing on the rooftop. Jason was hurt.

Shit.

“Jason, no. Wait,” Dick tried to approach, but Jason shook his head, gasping a garbled curse and backed further away. “Let me explain,” Dick tried again, but Jason bolted.

He launched off the roof ledge before Dick could stop him, shooting off a grapple line and quickly disappearing into the maze of urban towers. Dick made to follow, but quickly realized that Jason had taken Dick's only grappling hook. Jason must have nicked it when Dick had been too busy kissing him. No... _taking advantage_ of him.

 _Oh god_. He hadn't meant to--. Had he forced his way on Jason with the kiss?

There was a horrible feeling in the pit of Dick’s stomach. He had to fix this. He had to explain to Jason… he wasn't even sure _what_ he would say, but Dick had screwed up big time. He had to apologize, but it was too late.

Jason was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was drama for your mama, as we used to say in high school. I kind of had Dick take a page from Bruce's book (see RHATO #25, but not quite as bad), but it will resolve in the last chapter! Stay tuned!


	5. Chapter 5

The trackers stopped working.

Within an hour of the disastrous kiss, Jason went completely dark. He must have figured out how Dick had followed him, and found a way to quickly flush the trackers from his system. Dick had pulled up enough security footage to know that he had disappeared into the Outlaws’ invisible fortress, so Bizarro had likely helped him.

Dick was relieved that on one hand Jason's teammates were watching out for him, especially if he came home injured, but on the other hand… they would be watching out for Jason if Dick showed up too.

He wasn't sure how much Jason would tell them. Probably just enough to know that Jason wouldn't want to see him. Breaking and entering was an option, Dick was a Bat after all, but given everything he had already done to violate Jason's personal space, that probably wasn't a good idea.

In the end, Dick decided he would simply have to knock on their door. Sort of. The giant floating building didn't exactly have a clear entryway, but he could land on it. That had to be just as good as ringing a doorbell, right? Hopefully his bat jet wouldn't be shot out of the sky before he could even attempt it.

Dick waited three agonizing days before he dared make an approach. He set the jet’s system to send out a friendly hail just in case, but there weren't any visible sign of any defense systems arming as he hovered at the building's perimeter. He wouldn't normally have been able to see the building at all, but Bruce had already uploaded parameters in their tech upgrades, so his mask lenses could detect the strange hovering cube that the Outlaws now called home.  

 _Here goes nothing_ , Dick thought. He set the jet to autopilot, opened the hatch and jumped down onto the top of the building.

Nothing happened.  

Dick simply stood atop the building for several long minutes, waiting to see if anyone would come out. He walked the length of it, searching for some kind of opening or door, but saw none.

Maybe they didn't know he was here?

 _Make some noise!_ His stupid head-voice suggested.

“Hello?” He tried speaking aloud. He knelt down and wrapped his knuckles against the surface. It barely made a sound.

_Use your sticks!_

Dick pulled out an escrima, hoping it would make a louder knocking sound.

It did.

No response.

Maybe no one was home? Maybe Jason and the other Outlaws were out on a mission together?

This certainly would have been easier if he had some other means of contacting Jason, but his phone was good as dead. There were certain email addresses that he had used in the past, but again, it was like sending messages into a black hole. Comms were dead too.

This wasn't turning out to be a very good plan.

_Leave a note?_

Dick absently patted the hidden pockets in the lining of his suit … but that was dumb. He didn't carry a pen and paper in his skin tight suit.

_Time to give up?_

Dick sighed dejectedly and sat down cross legged on the rooftop. He didn’t want to give up. He needed to figure out some other way of drawing Jason out.

_But how?_

“I am tired of watching you look like an idiot,” a voice suddenly sounded from behind him. Dick spun to see Artemis standing there. She was dressed in her full Amazon regalia, fitted bodice and boots, with her large axe in hand but hanging loosely at her side.

“You need to leave,” she said sternly. She didn't move to attack, but she didn't need to. Her threat was clear.

“I just need to see Jason.” Dick stood his ground.

“We both know that is not going to happen.”

Well, if she put it _that_ way. Going through an Amazon probably wasn't the smartest move. Dick would have to try a different approach. She wasn't a likely candidate to be sympathetic to his plight, but if there was anyway to get an apology across to Jason, he had to try.

“Please,” Dick said sincerely, “I know he doesn't want to see me, and he has every right to be angry, but will you just tell him something for me?”

“What is your message?” Artemis crossed her arms over her chest. In her heeled boots, she towered over him, looking down at him with a hard, disapproving glare.

Dick paused. What could he possibly say that would fix this? He had breached Jason's personal privacy, made assumptions about him, judged him unfairly, ruined a perfectly good date and then kinda sorta… probably... forced a kiss on him.  

Dick sighed again. He wasn't sure if anything could fix this. There wasn't anything he could say that would absolve him of what he had done, so he finally settled on the truth. “Tell him… I'm sorry. I didn't mean for things to get out of hand… but I… I think I’ve fallen in love. With him. With Jason.”

There was a slight twitch in the curve of Artemis’ brow. Her demeanor shifted subtly. She still looked hard as nails, but there was a softening around the pinch of her eyes.

“Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why he reached out to you in the first place at the circus?”  Artemis asked. “Why he wanted to work with you at all on this job in Bludhaven?”

He _had_ wondered. It was unusual for Jason to offer an olive branch or make concessions. He had chalked it up to Jason's overall want to reconcile with the family, but now that he thought about it, Jason wasn't really doing the same with the other family members. He had managed to form a pretty cordial relationship with Tim, but Jason had only ever reached out to work specifically with Dick. That meant….

“He just wanted to spend time with just me?”

“Yes, but on his own terms,” Artemis nodded. “He wanted you to see him differently. Perhaps he wanted you to understand something about him, but clearly you didn't.”

“Understand what? What do you mean?”

Artemis rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air. “By the Goddess, are all men truly so dense?”

“Apparently,” Dick conceded. He was missing something here, because Artemis was hinting at something that she felt was obvious. “What are you talking about?”

“It is as plain as the sun that rises in the sky. It is clear as an Elysian spring,” Artemis huffed. “I could see it the moment the two of you sat down in the trailer together. He has feelings for you.”

_“What?”_

“You heard me,” she responded. “His feelings run deep, but he is too young and inexperienced, and most especially too stubborn to say as much. He yearns for you to look at him differently, but he does not know how to tell you. He wanted to show you, but clearly he failed, and you are just as obtuse. I had thought your family would be better at picking up on these things, given you are _detectives_.”

Dick simply gaped. Was that true? Jason had _feelings_ for him? All this time, and Dick hadn't a clue? Holy cow, how had Dick missed that? And of course Jason wouldn't have told Dick anything, because Dick had repeatedly misjudged and misconstrued everything that Jason had done.  And if he _had_ said something, Dick wasn't sure how he would have reacted. Up until a couple days ago, Dick hadn't realized that he himself had feelings for Jason too. But now, if they both felt the same…. Shit. How was the hell was he going to fix this?  

“You have to let me see him,” Dick pleaded. “He has to know. He wasn't wrong… he _has_ showed me. Underneath everything, beyond the Red Hood… I've seen who Jason _really_ is. I want to be with him. Please, let me see him.”

“No. You will only do more harm than good.”  Artemis turned and walked away, but then she paused to look over her shoulder. “Jason is….” She stopped herself, shaking her head slightly before beginning again. “Give him another two weeks. He may be more amenable once he has cooled down.”

A door appeared out of nowhere. Artemis stepped through and disappeared.

Dick was left standing alone again on the rooftop. He hadn't succeeded in what he came here to do, which was to find and apologize to Jason. But… he had gotten through to Artemis. She had thrown him a bone, albeit a small one, but it gave him hope that he could get through to Jason too.

He would take Artemis’ advice. He would give Jason time. He just had to wait.

_/////////////////////////////////////////_

Two weeks was an _awfully_ long time. Fourteen days of full blown anxiety over how things had gone so incredibly wrong.

Why had Dick acted so stupidly? _You clearly weren't thinking!_

Why hadn't he thought his plan all the way through? _Because you were stupid in love the whole time!_

Did Jason hate him? _He's certainly not happy with you!_

Did he still have those same feelings Artemis had suggested even after what Dick had done? _Would you, if he did the same to you?_

Would Artemis talk to Jason about it? _She's probably not going to mince words._

What was Jason thinking about as the days ticked by? Did he think about Dick at all from second to second, hour to hour, day to day like Dick thought of Jason? Was he just as angst-ridden? Was he just as obsessed?

The questions kept running through his mind. It was making him restless and aggressive. All the pent up frustration was driving him up the wall, and Dick tried to work off at least part of that energy by punching thugs night after night.  

But even the the scummiest of Bludhaven riffraff weren't enough to take his mind off of Jason, and he still kept hearing those stupid words of Artemis’ in his head: _Anyone and Jason?_

Because _yes_. There _was_ a certain someone that Dick could picture, and not just anyone.

 _The only person you want to see him with is yourself_.

Dick nodded his head in agreement. How did he not see it earlier? Who else could appreciate Jason’s aggravatingly dark humor? Who else could understand that he was both brutal and kind? Who else could be a moral compass, willing to spend time to guide him, who would overlook his flaws, who could understand that his bravado was just a mask for his pain? Who else would understand the darkness of loss, and be able to hold him up through the pain and support him, just like he had done for Bruce? Who else would put in the effort?  Who else wanted to be _his_ the way Dick wanted and needed to be? Who else would do it out of love?

_No one. No one but you, Dick._

He wouldn't allow it to be anyone else. He just couldn't. He had to do something. He _had_ to talk to Jason. He just had to weather another couple days of waiting and hoping that by then Jason would have cooled off… and maybe he'd _understand_. Maybe Jason could even _forgive_ him.

Dick resolved to wait, because he could be disciplined if he wanted to, and this was just too important to try and force. But then, on an afternoon just shy of the two week mark, the nano trackers he had planted on Jason came back online.

At first Dick didn't believe it. It had to be a mistake right? Jason had found a way to shut them down, and the trackers were at their limited lifespan anyway. They shouldn't have been able to spontaneously come back online, unless… Jason had turned them back on _intentionally_.

Was this a message of sorts? And if so, what was Jason trying to tell him? Was it a warning, or… an invitation? Either way, there was only one way to find out.

Dick threw on his night gear and headed back to Gotham. It was turning dusk by the time he found Jason, sitting quietly at a bus stop at a familiar corner of the Bowery. Dick didn't approach directly, instead he took a moment to observe. Jason was calm but alert, wearing his tactical pants, but without his armour, and his usual brown leather jacket zipped up to the collar. Dressed as he was, he looked and blended in as a regular civilian, but he had a nondescript bag over his shoulder that probably held the rest of his gear.

He sat a while longer, showing no outward reaction to whether or not he was aware of Dick's presence. Eventually, he got up and casually walked down the length of the block and into the small flower shop Dick had seen him patronize some weeks ago. He emerged with a bouquet of flowers similar to the one he had bought before, and then continued walking the same path Dick had followed him down the last time. Jason kept going until he was standing in front of that same house where he had tied the previous bouquet.

Jason repeated the ritual, untying the old withered bunch of flowers and replacing it with the new one. Then he stripped the old, dried out blossoms, crumbling them between his fingers before dropping the stems to the ground.

Dick watched silently from afar, unsure of what to do. Jason had to know he was watching, right? Should he approach? Why would Jason repeat his earlier actions, if he knew Dick was watching this time?

Dick held himself back. Maybe he needed to let this play out? Maybe Jason was trying to show him something, like Artemis had alluded to…. Maybe Jason was telling him that he knew what Dick knew? Maybe he _wanted_ Dick to simply watch?

Jason walked back toward the main drag, running his hand along the chain linked fences, turning corner after corner at a leisurely pace until he was back at the small grocery Dick had spied him in once before. Jason ventured in for several minutes. When he came back out he held a bag of… oranges?  

It was a bag of clementines. Jason unzipped his jacket slightly to stuff a few of the small oranges into an inner pocket. Then he proceeded down the street until he encountered a homeless man. It was the same man Jason had a few kind words with before. He nodded in greeting, and Jason handed him the remaining oranges, pulled a few bills from his wallet to hand to him, and then went on his way.

Dick continued to follow him from afar, as Jason retraced his steps and headed back toward the park where Dick had watched him coach the neighborhood kids at basketball. It was nearly dark now, and the kids were nowhere to be seen, but the hot dog cart at the edge of the park was still there, getting ready to shut down. Jason walked up to the cart and waved two fingers in the air. Dick watched as the man at the cart smiled and chatted as he loaded two dogs into buns, and then smothered them in an artery-clogging heap of chili. He wrapped them up in foil as Jason handed over some cash. Jason stuffed the dogs, along with two cans of Choke soda into his jacket.  Dick felt a little envious. The pockets in Jason's outerwear seemed to be endless.

Jason ducked into an alleyway after that, and Dick momentarily lost sight of him until he heard the telltale report of a grapple gun being fired. A moment later, Dick spied Jason climbing over the ledge of a nearby skyscraper, dressed in his full tactical gear now, his red helmet gleaming a little too brightly against the darkened skyline. Jason seated himself beside a large gargoyle and began unpacking the contents of his jacket.

He pulled out a can of soda, setting it down close to the lip of the ledge. He set a chili dog in front of it, balancing it perpendicular so that it jutted upright and parallel with the can. Finally, Jason pulled out two small oranges, placing them close together in front. The end result was that it looked extremely phallic, like a cock and balls. It looked like a _dick_.

Jason pulled off his helmet -- he wasn't wearing a domino -- and looked straight at where Dick was hiding a few buildings away. He didn't smile, but he arched a brow in anticipation.

_Well, Dick? What are you waiting for?_

Jason cracked open the second soda and took a sip. Then he set the second chili dog flat on his other side, and waited.

Dick smiled despite the trepidation that thrummed through his body. He was hopeful, because the _chili-dick_ was clearly meant for him. It was an invitation. It confirmed that Jason knew he had been watching, and that he wouldn't shoot Dick on sight as soon as he approached. Dick took a deep breath, shot out his grapple line and swung forward.

He landed neatly beside the chili-dick and sat down. Jason just looked at him without saying a word, unwrapped his own chili dog, and began to eat. They sat in silence, somewhat awkwardly as Dick took a bite of the dog Jason had set out for him. Chili dripped everywhere. It was messy as hell, but it was pretty darn good. After a couple bites though, the silence was too much.

_Find some way to apologize… just say something…._

“So...,” Dick started, “are we going to talk?”

Jason didn't look at him. He merely shrugged and said, “Why? I thought you just liked to watch me do random shit?”

If Dick didn't know any better, he would have have taken the flippant tone at face value. But he _did_ know better, and he could tell the tone was too cold. Too controlled. Jason was putting on a carefully crafted act. He wanted Dick to think he wasn't affected.

“No…. That's not…,” Dick struggled to find a different explanation, but all he came up with was, “that's not what I was doing.”

“Then enlighten me. What the fuck did you think you were doing?” There it was. The anger leaking out. Barely contained rage, but still contained. Jason was restraining himself. Dick could see it clearly. He could tell Jason was holding himself back, because underneath all the aggressiveness, he was hurt. Confused. And something else Dick couldn't quite put a finger on.

_Now’s your chance to apologize…._

“Jason… I'm sorry,” Dick said sincerely. “I shouldn't have done what I did. I never should have spied on you. It's just… when I talked to Artemis, I knew she was wrong about you. I mean... she was right, but she was wrong too. About your relationships. I got curious, because you never talk about what happened to you, or about people from your past, and if anyone ever asks you just bring up the fact that you _died_ so that we stop asking. I had to find some other way to get to know you.”

Dick was rambling. He knew it, but it was like the floodgates had opened up, and it was too late to stop the words from spilling out. “And then I talked to Roy and Kory…,” Dick went on.

“You _what_?” Jason whipped his head up at that, but Dick kept going.

“... and they told me things I never knew about you. And then I just started watching you, and you were so different than what I expected. I thought I knew you, but I didn't. I liked watching you, and then I just kept wanting to see more. I just couldn't stop. So I kept following you. And I’m sorry, but... I guess in some ways I'm _not_ sorry. If I hadn’t tracked you, I never would have seen the things I saw. I wouldn't have… fallen in love with you.”

Shit. _Shitshitshit._ Dick forced himself to stop talking. Did he just blabber his way into confessing his bleeding heart out? Did he just dig himself deep into a hole he couldn't get out of?

_Yes. You did._

Damnit.

Jason just sat completely still. He was looking down, his jaw clenched, his fists gripping the ledge hard as he swallowed. Dick watched the bob of his Adam's apple, and waited for Jason to respond.

He didn't.

“Come on, say something. Please,” Dick pleaded. “Look, I don't know what Artemis told you, but --.”

“Shut up!” Jason cut him off. “God, just shut up for a second. I can't think….” Jason shook his head, as if to clear it, before continuing. “I _know_ what you told Artemis. Our base has cameras, Dickhead.”

Oh. Jason must have watched the entire exchange with Artemis. Because of course he did. He was a Bat.

Dick waited several long moments, letting Jason process in silence until Dick grew impatient again. “Why’d you turn the trackers back on, Jay? You wanted me to come. You _wanted_ me to follow you this time. Why?”

“You _know_ why,” was all Jason said.

Did he? Dick had been wrong about a lot of things, but Jason's face was flushed and he averted his gaze just as soon as Dick met his eyes.  Jason stared intently down past his feet and at thirty stories of skyscraper below them.

Was what Artemis said true? That Jason had feelings for him, and that was the reason Jason had reached out to Dick in the first place back at the circus? Was that the reason he agreed to work with Dick when he came up with the half-assed plan around Bianchi? Was that still the reason now, after Dick had done everything possible to violate Jason's privacy, that they were sitting and talking over two chili dogs instead of duking it out with fists? Did Jason _still_ return his feelings?

_You know he does! That’s why he led you here. You still have a chance!_

“Jay, look at me,” Dick ventured.

“No.”

“Come on.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“Why the hell should I?” Jason stared resolutely at some indiscernible point in the distance.

“So you're angry?” As if that wasn't already clear.

“No, I'm just tickled pink that you've been _stalking_ me for weeks!” Jason turned to him at last, throwing his arms up in exasperation. “You've been a sanctimonious hypocrite this entire time. You assumed the worst of me every chance you got. You made me think all you thought of me was that I was a murderer, a greedy crimelord… a _whore_. I figured I shouldn't have bothered with you in the first place. I thought I had to find a way to _get over_ _you_. And then you pull that shit on the rooftop!” Jason was shouting by the end of the outburst, his fist clenched and shaking, his jaw set stubbornly as his face flushed again with heat.  

_He was trying to get over you!_

Dick honed in on that little clue. “So that's why you were with _that guy_?” he asked.

“ _That guy_?” Jason exclaimed with a frustrated exhale. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a decent hookup online? I scoped him out for like an entire week to make sure he wasn't some crazy overlord, because it turns out thugs and wannabe super villains are the only people I ever get matched with!”

That did make sense, Dick thought, given he had feared as much for Jason given his original pros and cons list.

“Did you… put a tracker on him and follow him around? And secretly interview his friends about his prior relationships?” Dick said it half in jest, hoping that on one hand, some self-deprecating humor would lighten the mood, and on the other hand if Jason had done as such, it would alleviate some of Dick’s guilt over his own behavior.

It soon became apparent Jason would deny him any obvious reprieve. The silence that followed left Dick scouring Jason's body language again to understand if he meant it to be some sort of statement. Was this an admission of shared guilt of some form? Did he track his would-be liaison the same way Dick had tracked Jason? Or did it mean that he didn't do anything nearly as intrusive, and the silence was meant to be damning?

_This isn't going well at all._

It sure wasn't. Dick was usually adept at reading others, but with Jason, it was always like trying to read a brick wall. He was one of the mouthiest of all the Robins when it came to antagonizing opponents, but when it came to the inner workings of his thoughts, Jason was as secretive as Bruce. If there was one thing Dick had learned about Jason recently, it was that there was so much about Jason that would never be said aloud.

To Dick's surprise however, it was Jason who finally broke the silence.

“Why?” Jason turned back to Dick, the glint of his eyes somehow reflecting the ambient lights of the darkened city. There was a challenge there, daring Dick to be anything but fully honest with him. “On the rooftop,” Jason clarified. “What you said to Artemis. Why?”

“I meant every word when I said I’d fallen in love with you.” Dick watched as that ineffable emotion flickered across Jason's gaze.

“I thought you saw me as just a killer?”

Dick shook his head. “No. You were never just a killer to me. You've killed, but so have others we work with. I know there's more to you than that, and when you've been working with us, you've stopped.”

“I'm not… I haven't stopped doing anything just for _you,_ ” Jason scoffed.

“Then you're doing it for yourself,” Dick let a smile creep into his expression.  “That's even better.”

Jason frowned. He fidgeted a little, looking around for something to do with his hands before he finally settled on taking a swig from his can of soda. He swallowed, and Dick watched the movement of Jason's throat… watched as he swiped the back of his hand across his lips. Watched as Jason looked down between his knees at the sheer drop of the skyscraper again. It was so mundane and yet so overwhelmingly endearing to see the mix of nervousness, insecurity, and fluster in him, masked with a hint of bravado and spite. Dick didn't ever think he'd get tired of learning all the hidden tells of Jason's body language.

_He's not saying anything, but he's still talking to you._

Jason communicated more honestly with his body. He voiced his feelings in the way he carried himself, in the way he let his guard slip as Dick gradually pushed at his defenses. In the way he didn't want to look Dick in the eye. He was practically broadcasting his vulnerability, if you only knew what to look for.

At last, Jason spoke again. “You know I'm not exactly the best relationship material.”

Dick shrugged. “Maybe I'm not either.”

“Moreso than me,” Jason retorted. “I'm not a good person. You deserve better.”

_So does he…._

“I don't think you give yourself enough credit,” Dick replied. “And maybe we haven't been fair to you either. Maybe _I've_ misjudged you. All this time, I kept remembering the bad things you've done, but I didn't know about all the other things you do. The good things. You're a good person, Jay. I've seen it.”

“I'm not,” Jason said stubbornly. “People are afraid of me.”

“Sure. Crime bosses and their goons,” Dick nodded, “but that man you took to the Mission wasn't. Those Crime Alley kids aren't.”

Jason knotted his brow in opposition. “I hurt people, including you.”

“Maybe not anymore than I’ve hurt you,” Dick said gently.

“I'm still angry,” Jason said, voice tight and hushed. “At you. At everyone. Sometimes I let it get the best of me.”

Dick was undeterred. “Maybe you just need someone to be your anchor. Maybe I can help you, if you let me.”

Jason tutted, “You think you have all the answers, but you don't.”

_Stop letting him make excuses. Don't let him run and hide…._

Right. Jason would run if Dick let him, but it was time to stop the running. It was time for both of them to stop hiding and face what they felt.

“True.” Dick ducked forward, angling so he could see more of Jason's face. “That's never stopped me before.”

Jason was still looking down, and Dick shifted closer and closer by degrees until he knew Jason could see him in his peripheral vision.

Jason steadfastly looked at his knee, but he replied, “You've thought about this.”

“Yeah, the entire time I was stalking you. I even made a list.” Despite his earlier guilt, Dick was now feeling oddly proud. He smiled, and inched his hand over to cover Jason's own.

Jason froze up again, but didn't pull away. “If we… I don't know how to do this. I don't really know where to start.”

“That's okay.” Dick tightened his fingers, curled them around to intertwine in Jason's. “Just follow my lead.”

Jason finally looked up again, his expression searching… hesitant... disbelieving. There was a hint of amusement too, and then suddenly Dick was yanked forward, nearly teetering off the ledge if not for a strong grip under his elbow that hauled him into Jason's lap. Then there were warm lips on his own, hands in his hair, pulling him close. Dick let him in, opening up to the heat of Jason's mouth and tongue. He tasted sweet, like the soda he had been drinking, a slight taste of nicotine, and… maybe a little hint of... chili dog.

Then Jason was moving away again, but not abruptly. He still clung to the front of Dick's suit, gripping the material in his fist as if he had no intention of ever letting go. Jason still held him close, foreheads touching, lingering a hand in Dick's hair and trailing along his jaw. He brushed his thumb along Dick's bottom lip, and pulled back just enough to look Dick in the eye.

With a wry, upward turn at the corner of his mouth Jason said, “What if I don't want to follow your lead?”

Dick smiled, leaning in for another kiss, “I’m sure we can work something out.”

  
  
  
  


_End_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really love it if you left a comment to tell me what you think! Thanks so much for reading!


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